Men do it any old time, birds do it, and bees do it. For most women, they will only do it if the candles are scented just right — and their partner has done the dishes first. A stereotype, for sure, but is it so true? Do men really have stronger sex drives than women?
Yes, they sure do. Research illustrates that men’s sex drives are not only stronger than women’s, but much more straightforward. The sources of women’s libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down.
It is a known fact that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire and also appear to be heavily influenced by social and cultural factors as well.
“Sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to environment and context,” says Edward O. Laumann, PhD, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago and lead author of a major survey of sexual practices, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States.
Listed are seven patterns of men’s and women’s sex drives that researchers have found. Keep in mind that individuals may vary from these norms.
1. Sex is thought about more by men.
Once a day, sex is thought about by the majority of adult men under 60. Only about one-quarter of women report this level of frequency. Each fantasize less, as men and women age,, but men still fantasize about twice as often.
Researches found that men reported more spontaneous sexual arousal and had more frequent and varied fantasies.
2. Sex is sought out more avidly by men.
Men want sex more at the beginning, middle, and throughout a relationship. This fact is not only true with heterosexual men, but it is true with gay men. Men also say they want more sex partners in their lifetime, and are more interested in casual sex.
Even when it is frowned upon, men are more likely to seek sex .
- Even though some will feel guilty about it, two-thirds say they masturbate. About 40% of women say they masturbate, and the frequency of masturbation is smaller among women.
- Prostitution is still mostly a phenomenon of men seeking sex with women, rather than the other women seeking men.
3. Women’s sexual inclinations are more complicated than men’s.
What turns a woman on? It is very hard to say, since not even women always seem to know. Researchers showed erotic films to gay and straight men and women. They asked them about their level of sexual arousal, and also measured their actual level of arousal through devices attached to their genitals.
The results were predictable for the men: Straight men stated they were more turned on by depictions of male-female sex and female-female sex, and the measuring devices backed up their claims. Gay men stated they were turned on by male-male sex, and again the devices backed them up. For women, the results were more surprising. Straight women, for example, said they were more turned on by male-female sex. But genitally they showed about the same reaction to male-female, male-male, and female-female sex.
Thanks to their less-directed sex drives, women may be more open to same-sex relationships. Also, studies’ showed that homosexuality is a more fluid state among women than men. In another broad review of studies showed many more lesbians reported recent sex with men, when compared to gay men’s reports of sex with women. Women were also more likely than men to call themselves bisexual, and to report their sexual orientation as a matter of choice.
4. Women’s sex drives are more influenced by social and cultural factors.
Studies showed showing many ways in which their environment influences women’s sexual attitudes; practices and desires:
- Women’s attitudes towards and the willingness to perform various sexual practices are more likely than men’s to change over time.
- Women who attend church regularly are less likely to have permissive attitudes about sex. Men do not show this connection between church attendance and sex attitudes.
- In their decisions about sex, women are more influenced by the attitudes of their peer group.
- Women with higher education levels were more likely to have performed a wider variety of sexual practices (such as oral sex); education made less of a difference with men.
- Women were more likely than men to show inconsistency between their expressed values about sexual activities such as premarital sex and their actual behavior.
Why is the sex drive of women seemingly weaker and more vulnerable to influence? Some have theorized it is related to the greater power of men in society, or differing sexual expectations of men when compared to women.
When it comes to sex, women have a lot more at stake. Women may be hard-wired to choose their partners carefully, because they are the ones who can get pregnant and wind up taking care of the baby. They are likely to be more attuned to relationship quality because they want a partner who will stay around to take care of the child. They’re also more likely to choose a man with resources because of his greater ability to support a child.
5. Women take a less direct route to sexual satisfaction.
To arrive at sexual desire, men and women travel slightly different paths. For women, there is a need for a plot or a story. The anticipation, how you get there, that is the fuel for desire.
This does not mean that men do not seek intimacy, love, and connection in a relationship, just as women do. They just view the role of sex differently. Women need more of an upfront connection, then just going right into sex. For men, sex is the connection
6. Orgasm experiences are different for women than men.
While researchers find it tricky to try to quantify issues like the differing quality of male vs. female orgasms, they do have data on how long it takes men and women to get there. Men, on average, take four minutes from the point of entry until ejaculation and women usually take around 10 to 11 minutes to reach orgasm — if they do.
Another difference between the sexes is how often they have an orgasm during sex. Among men who are part of a couple, 75% report that they always have an orgasm, as opposed to 26% of the women. And not only is there a difference in reality, there’s one in perception, too. While the men’s female partners reported their rate of orgasm accurately, the women’s male partners reported that they believed their female partners had orgasms 45% of the time.
7. Women’s libidos seem to be less amenable to drugs.
Men have embraced drugs as a cure not only for erectile dysfunction but also for a shrinking libido. With women, however, the search for a drug to boost sex drive has proved more elusive. With men’s sex drives seemingly more directly tied to biology when compared to women, it may be no surprise that low desire may be more easily treated through medication in men.
In both men and women, testosterone has been linked to sex drive. In men, testosterone works much faster with low libidos than women. While the treatments are effective, they are not as effective in women as in men..
Questions have always been asked, but never answered completely as to what is the difference in women and men. Whether it is in the bedroom or in everyday life, the questions remain unanswered.
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